Today I got to thinking about the whole appeal of being an independent woman. I feel like there are two parts to this “independent woman” that I battle with: first is I want to be one and second is why do I want to be one? I mean just the title itself is a statement right? Independent woman who can provide for herself, who is self sufficient, who doesn’t need a man to give her what she can obviously give herself if she tried. It seems like the independent woman is in essence the 21st century woman because let’s face it we’re out of the cavemen medieval days where a guy opening the door for you is romantic, right? If anything I feel like there’s an odd dichotomy between the woman who wants to be swept off her feet and the woman who wants to know she can be better than being swept off her feet. Anyways, I digress. Being an independent woman is desirable because I want people, namely my girlfriends, to believe that I can do anything—and this is key— by myself. God forbid I need anyone else, which leads into my next digression—-girls and the bathroom. Ever since I was little I can remember always going to the bathroom in a duo or group. Girls just roll that way. Anyways, point being, when did I start being ashamed of that? Of needing someone to come with me? Of needing to be with someone even if it was as arbitrary as going to the bathroom? When did I get scared of being dependent? I mean isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Maybe we as woman have scared ourselves so far into the other extreme. So then, which is the lesser of the two extremes?
Speaking from a personal place of frustration, I’m tired of my facade of independence. Should I feel ashamed or even weak if I decide not to do something because there’s no one else to do it with? Should I be beating myself up because I have want of that bathroom duo system of the past? I certainly value independence, but heck sometimes I just want some company!
It’s a funny world us women live in and sometimes I feel like we’re constantly pitted against ourselves, independent or dependent, who the heck are we anyway?
