Today I had the first day of my orientation at USC Annenberg. It was crazy. It was amazing. It was epically epic. But as goes the story, I had major panic attacks. I expected it, but I started the day in submission to God and His outline for the day. I wanted it to be a day where God was in control and not me, whatever the outcome of that may be. I haven’t had a crazy panic attack like today’s in a long time, so it took a lot out of me to cope and to reconcile myself to the fact that this may get more extreme and most likely could be a daily occurrence. It’s painful and most of the time I don’t believe that people understand just how crazy a panic attack can be, especially for someone like me who lives with it everyday. 

Anyways, I digress. My point of saying all this is that I’ve decided to post each day that I have an attack as I guess a visual documentation of what goes on inside me that no one else has a clue to until I, well, document it. And I also want this to be a reminder to me of God’s goodness and His Sovereignty over my life, that even the things going on inside me that no one knows, He knows and He too has experienced my suffering as His own. 

So yes, today was a bad panic attack day. But today was also God’s day and He carried me through it as I recited His promises over myself. God is good and I won’t stop believing that just because I had a bad day. So POO on you anxiety and POO on you Satan :)